Beninem - Autistic Flow
The long-anticipated full length album from your favorite wordsmith, Benjamin Layne Shill!
Get your Aspergers w/ a side order of fries on March 1, 2023. We couldn't be more proud and excited.
ORDER NOW TO GET A LIMITED EDITION CD!
Autistic Flow (LP)
1.Teenage Roots
2.Happy Birthday Mom
3.Back In the Day
4.Twist of the Wrist
5.Dine Out
6.Flashing Back To Classic Times
7.Fruit Loop Run
8.Late But Keen
9.Just Ask Johnny
10.Bros For Life
+bonus track by Golden Child Willz
BENINEM
"AUTISTIC FLOW" LP
(ALL LYRICS)
(1) TEENAGE ROOTS Walls all painted with graffiti art in the middle of the stage All the straight edge hardcore kids are circling up Their favorite band is playing some chords The singer is setting it off All heck breaks loose On the floor of the mosh pit On the floor of the mosh pit Oh how them days seemed to have passed Getting older just isn’t the same anymore Could have been singing along Until the voice is cracked Or jumped off the stage Until the feet can’t leap into the crowd anymore Maybe even thrown a windmill All that has lost its feel Time has come and gone Got to find something positive To bring back the vibe of teenage roots Can’t lose focus on what was so meant to be I’ll get this back until it takes hold Even for those who are not tough enough to do it What has been running through the mind for so many days It could break loose from its chains Find the core of what meant something in those years of the 90s Paying at the door was so cheap It was a thrill ride that never passed All it did was keep the pride full of momentum Which could last forever Chug on the breakdowns This is for real Hear the train rolling down Listen for the yell of voice It hits so hard, like a ton of bricks It’s got a never ending feel There has got to be something to hold onto Broken records can’t be all over the ground Come throw down that spirit filled music Ahh, Help us find a body to move all over this space The walls are cracking They must be reinforced with something full of unbreakable strength Call all who can last in this rage of night Find a band to wake up the ghost In this underground no mold of years Before it can’t exist anymore Ahh, It was disregarded as hope deep inside the heart Breaking down the barriers To rise above the negativity No holding back Just going the distance Having struggled for so long All that was there is gone I dedicate this song to those friends of mine Who brought me into what hardcore music is For we all stand together Never letting one fall back All of us are united Never stopping to let go.
(2) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM Alright, so it begins And this go out to my mom, Karen Because this is her birthday Hip-hop hooray, it’s your birthday I’m so grateful I’ve known you for all these years Even through the times where I had so many tears It’s so funny that years ago I was going through so many hard times But my mom kept me going Even when the rhymes switched from being all happy I always tried to keep on going ‘Cause my mom always set me straight And kept me knowing what I needed to do Even when sometimes I didn’t have a clue I just want you to know that I love you so much Mom And that I’d never be doing what I’m doing If it weren’t for you being in my life Even though it’s take me years And I still don’t got a wife But I’m so thankful to God For blessing me with you Because without you I would never know Exactly how to get through things that I have It’s really funny that in another way My mom likes the Beatles, but I’m not really a fan I just try to stay in the game-plan If you know what I’m sayin’ Alright, I’ll check you later I’m going out like I’m Heath Slater Or maybe not exactly that way But you know what I’m sayin’ I’m just out here in the heat Tryin’ to keep a beat So yo, Mom, I hope you like this I’ll check you out again, in due time Alright? Bye.
(3) BACK IN THE DAY Back, back, back in the Day That’s what happened back in the day Back in the day I fell off my skateboard And it hurt real bad ‘cause I was so mad That is when Ben found the ballpoint pen And that’s how it started Yo, I used to watch Fresh Prince Get dice in his mirror And I used to laugh so hard I started wheezing from the laughter It turned out to be a disaster ‘Cause I lost my marbles ha ha Nobody cares So I grew out my hair like Carrot Top The guy who uses props to be funny Only, the cops got his crops And he ended up in the slammer Like MC Hammer Cause his songs about “can’t touch this” Make my feet crazy I ended up on the dance floor Break dancing to a guy who should “beat it” He checked me out And no doubt, he fell on the floor That day he knew I rapped a good song Not about hitting a bong My beats don’t go like that I’d run out of space in my mind And I don’t know what I’d find ‘Cause I don’t want to go blind So get off your seat I’m up here to rap in a comic way There’s nothing you can say to change my way Back, back, back in the day That’s what happened back in the day You can ‘boo’ me off stage But I’ll still rage like a machine Back in the day I ran cross-country Got my unies in a bungie That’s how I lost them I tried to jump a fence And my hands got stuck Oh man I got all bloody I got blinded by the sun And I had no fun That’s ok at least I walk on streets Back, back, back in the day That’s what happened back in the day Sometimes life goes on Till the break of dawn Like that song-- --No I’m just kidding That would be boring We’d all be snoring Like when we go to the dentist Who gives us laughing gas And we fall asleep And we don’t know what happened That’s what happened Back in the day.
(4) TWIST OF THE WRIST It seems as if I feel so insecure My thoughts keep falling on the floor Instead of on the table Sometimes my words don’t come out just right For the never-ending fight keeps going on At times I often wonder if I’ll make it out alive Or will hip-hop help me thrive? I’m doing all my heart wants me to do To find this clue which is somewhere underground Haters try to creep in But somehow I leap away from them into a mosh pit They try to hard to find something to bind me And they don’t see it at all Because here on the microphone is where I’ll keep telling it like it is Since it won’t be sewn into me You know there’s nothing for real if it makes you peel like an apple Yes, your head keeps spinning from the top axis which is on the ground, grinning So do you want to take another step into this realm which will keep you awake? I guess that you want to Since I see you busting a move to the groove right now What does this mean? Are you gonna be a fiend on the dance floor, or what? Dang, this does not want to stop It seems so clever, that’s why you say never I’ve been trying to make this hip-hop exist without the twist of my wrist But where are the break dancers at, that choose to keep representing what is real? Hey, drop! That cut on the turntable so the people can get into this fable I am telling Now do you understand what it is that gets you into the mood, or are you stuck eating food? The magic is sprinkled onto you like a dream that is a beam in your mind Please take your whoopee cushion somewhere else so the pushin will stop! Please take your whoopee cushion somewhere else so the pushin will stop! Please take your whoopee cushion somewhere else so the pushin will stop! Does this make you see things any clearer after Beninemleft a spot? You will never get the foundation of people if you don’t get the explanation Are you trying to get somewhere with a hit? Which is on point without a joint That keeps everyone from their stress Yes, this mess has been spreading Each and every culture is welcome to this demotion all because of this notion... We will stay connected when this has ‘Ben’ rejected by those who don’t see how ambitious this is. Nothing is harder than trying to keep above nega-ga-tivity When all you’ve got is creativity flowing mad Fresh and throwing down in full effect As is always on check in the hardcore way We will stay connected when this has become rejected by those who don’t see how ambitious this is! Nothing is harder than trying to keep above negativity when you’ve got creativity flowing mad! Fresh and throw down in full effect! It is always on check, in the hardcore way!
(5) DINE OUT aka I LOVE BEING HAPPY It’s been hard to release myself of thoughts deep inside the cranium Because the ooze of all this has felt like uranium to my mind I hide myself from the news because it’s so bleak to look at how messed up things are You can’t live without chaos going on I wish things were so different The want to be in front of a creek instead of darkness on a screen Really miss thinking back to when goofing off meant everything was fine Not having memories of feeling that are close to turbulence in a plane Just want to be somewhere where friends can dine on good things How does all this danger become what is broken down (to the color of skin or something you wear as a badge--because all this hate for hate only escalates the problem. It could be broken down in another way.) in any other way. I always think of the manger because that is where Christ was born Peace doesn't have to be a weapon or a building on fire, It could be what gives you hope When sometimes days hardly ever appear positive The norm of today isn't what gives a beat it's dire need to exceed boundaries no matter how you want that As if to have hope the silence that comes with years of hostility towards opposition You can only change anarchy by fighting back till the sky turns blue Because all this flipping upside down only takes away what many fought for you You can't burn it because the minute you try, out of nowhere the flag will fly As a clue of what Americans fight hard to keep strong I didn't want to do this, but I've been hiding for too long Hip hop made me woke so long ago So the time has come to bring back what is mental Because thoughts of being lost are over Got to build a house with sides that will never split when a storm comes with strong wind Cause I’m so tired of all that’s going on All over the news, on the radio, friend talkin’ crap About people who are different, and so much more I wish I could wire a radio station and blast my feelings So everybody would hear them, “I love being happy!” When things are good, if all this stuff is misunderstood, then I guess I might have to go get a Laffy Taffy. I love being happy I love being happy I love being happy I love being happy
(6) FLASHING BACK TO CLASSIC TIMES I’m kicking it back to growing up with hip hip blowin’ in your ears So take a seat in front of the beat droppin’ from the DJ He was gettin’ the break dancers crackin’ Everybody get ready to set it off like me and my friends Who like to get rock-steady, yo! It’s like a bad reaction when your shoes lose traction From all the windmill backspins on the wooden floor Ready for more, so open that door to the underground of the old school We don’t throw down like a sucker Just ask my brother, you don’t have to take my word Unless you act like a nerd and forget what you heard Within this constellation this will be droppin’ all over the nation If you’re in our galaxy Don’t get stuck in Toledo Where a cow-blower offers some Cheetos! Look out for the food junkie I’m feeling kinda funky For eating too many snickerdoodles and ramen noodles Let’s throw it in a hoop and I’ll get back to the scoop So come out with your crew, we’ll provide the Mello Yellow Because it’s cheaper than Nello’s pizza Don’t forget your cue when the beat drops, it drops for you There’s no stoppin’ Eh-everybody dance, put on your parachute pants This may be your last chance After the 80’s came and went Some people worried that their lives were spent Let’s give them a reason to be alive By reviving the sound of real hip hop, right on the spot You can drive your car from where you are Wearing your “time to get fresh” shoes and become a star It’s not completely sub-par to rap bizarre, hardy-har-har! Time to put on some bands to get ready Get ‘Rad’ on this fad from the 80’s Pick up that skateboard from Bare Cover Ride the quarter-pipe, feel the hype that’s better than a drug! Just watch out for the cop You know I seem to latch on to what the heck you’re doing ‘Cause shredding is better than fretting over someone who doesn’t commit a crime Even when busting a rhyme Stay smart when you’re not on your session But making it a profession And keep away from posers We got the AZ Crews of Scares Taking down them haters One at a time, like Optimus Prime Are all you guys gonna miss ‘throwback’ Or do you need to drink a six-pack of Pepsi I’ll leave it up to you to determine your own journey But keepin’ yourself from being in a gurney It doesn’t seem like ET’s very outta sight So here ya go! One by one, the beats will come And you know you want to get some Instead of twiddling your thumbs ‘Cause you don’t ever forget the disaster with this jam Keeps getting faster right inside of a boombox blaster So whatcha, whatcha, whatcha wanna do Celebrate on the past to feel the blast to send you back So whatcha, whatcha, whatcha wanna do Celebrate on the past to feel the blast to send you back You won’t soon forget how the record scratches in your mind Like graffiti on a wall Flashing back to classic times! Ah-ha-ha-ha! Flashing back to classic times! Flashing back to classic times! Ah-ha-ha-ha! ‘Cause you know when I drop this the beat will never stop What do you even think you have to do, a bunny hop? So keep thinking back to the days of old ‘Cause I’m gonna keep it fresh, like tenfold!
(7) FRUIT LOOP RUN This song is dedicated to Coach Jackson You are such a great inspiration I can remember a time where I’ve been running cross country for a bit It was so hard, I couldn’t keep up with anyone because of being slow at that moment Then a pack of guys came to the back like they was wolves Ready to tear down the canal way real fast They helped me so much There seemed to be no feeling of being cursed by my legs Each time we ran it seemed tough to do But I always thought maybe it will get better So giving up never was the case I broke down like it was an MC battle where the rhyme landed hard Falling down Get back up When it hurts He was winning. He was running. On this certain day we were told that we’d be doing this run that was called “The Fruit Loop Run” I remember it very well and for certain this time in particular It had to be one of the hardest runs ever Because it was 8 miles long So we started going down trail I’m trying hard for some rad thing to happen I keep within, not too far off the seniors, who were doing it too But then we get to the canal area Something happened-- A couple of guys hopped the fence and jumped into the water They weren’t supposed to do that In my mind thoughts came out, so it seemed But the puns(plunge) was on them ‘Cause man somebody got itchy from it! Falling down Get back up When it really hurt He was running. He was winning. But that being said, I have quite a few stories about them years! We were even at a meet when we all had to hurry to the front Because of wanting to fight “Waste-wood Warriors, take-any-weapon” cross country team Because they called us rich teenagers with cars, though it wasn’t the case! Promptly, no gunners had to be used I’m not talkin’ ‘bout shootin’ weapons, but fists! Falling down Get back up When it hurts He was running. He was winning. Hey Randle-baby, what you got on that?!
(8) LATE BUT KEEN Hip hop always got me on the run Every time I listen it makes me want to lift a tone of beats out of my mind Sometimes I don't even know where these lyrics come from They are not kindle to my fire But then again it only takes one match to set a blaze I’m late, but I’m keen Do you all know what I mean I'm always thinking about how this became so much a part of me Because things were missing before picking up hidden gems in the mind A lot of them carried weight, but I didn't have clue how much they were worth But when kids were dissing me words came out which blew their minds I’m late, but I’m keen Do you all know what I mean Funny how kids don't understand karma is a beast They never thought poking fun would do anything I'd guess don't mess with me because when ya do a curse will come I shower emcees out daily They have no idea what they're doing on me Kicking up the dirt in the southwest You know I'm not the character on a cartoon yet Dang, who let Physique go bonkers? It wasn't me, I’m late but I’m keen I have rolled BMX tires so fast the air gets dusty by time that it is over Years ago I tried to launch along a ramp Sure wanted it to be fun, yet fell to the side -- not enough speed What a funny thing to happen Yeah, because getting up is so easy? Ha!
(9) JUST ASK JOHNNY The only way to keep hip hop true Is by keeping it real every single time It doesn’t matter how the beat goes ‘Cause the lyrics are clean like a cup that came out of the dishwasher The only way to keep hip hop true is by keeping it real every single time Every single time. How do you like me now? Nobody got to get that extra rinse ‘Cause the beep is neither here nor there No reason to take a cues From those who cling to the static from being all gangster If I had wanted that, why Ice T would be giving me clues On when to say “boom blaw sucker” As an MC I never came from the hood The only thing that got shot was a toy cap gun It never put no bullet into anyone -- Just Ask Johnny Nah I don't see a reason to talk about all the homies down on the block That would only be cool if the gang was jumping some fool Then you might hear somebody say that guy got served up like cream puff Just ask Johnny about that Just ask Johnny about that How do you like me now - Just Ask Johnny But everyone knows the season is only for the outsiders The real tough guys They always beat the rich kids.
(10) OPEN LETTER TO DPJ, aka “BROS FOR LIFE” Well, I am back again This one goes out to my friend David P Jensen Years ago back when I was in high school, I remember that I ran cross country and he was on my team, and When I was running, And not doing very well with keeping up with all of the team He, and all the guys came back to where I was And they ran with me, and Helped me to, to push down the way, and Helped me to keep going at it When those times were not so easy And at that time I hadn’t really ran long distance And so To try to push myself to do something that was very hard It was great to have him and all the other guys helping To push me to keep trying And not give up! And then we were really good friends And we hanged out on “Mill,” And we talked a lot And then some years after that I remember seeing him at like a party And he was in a band that was called “Before Braille.” During that time there was a kid that was at the same job that I had And he told me that I couldn’t write a hip hop song So, that’s what I did And then, I showed it to Dave And he took a look at it But then, asked me to read it And so I read it to him And he was laughing really hard But not necessarily like, at me, But at the fact that I had done that And that it was really good And then out of the blue And I had no clue That he was gonna ask me to get up on stage And perform, perform a song! We’d pay all for love And then as time went on His band broke up And I wasn’t sure what I was going to do And then he took off for a bit And then we found each other again And I got to record in a studio With none other than Bob Hoag And we recorded a couple songs, and then Now we just kept with it And it’s been all these years And here I am still today, making rhymes And doing that sort of thing And it’s just amazing to have that And to be where I”m at! And so, ahhh I just wanna say, um Thank you David P Jensen You're one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known And has done so much for me I just cannot thank you enough And being able to overcome autism I can for sure say That I wouldn't have been able to without you And love you so much I’m thankful to have you in my life You’ll always be my bro! And I will always stand with ya And stick up for ya No matter what happens You’ll always be my bro!
____
BONUS TRACK: YOUNG BENNY (Music & lyrics by J-WILLZ aka "Golden Child Willz") Young Benjamin You got a friend in me Like breakdancing in the 80s Making history Feel like I’m bulletproof Nah, nah you can’t bully me I put them hours in I rise Stacking up the cheese Peddlin’ Never in my life I’ve been for settlin’ We all equal No one better than The cool crowd I wasn’t in I made a new definition Keep pushin, like Lupe Then got better with repetition Start rappin’ to cut the tension Life life has “Ben” always different The world need more like David He didn’t–when they got distant Mind your own business They too broke to pay attention Pickin with me ‘Cause your parents ain’t listenin’ It’s part of this system Part of me like breakin’ Part of me like skatin’ Whenever times get hard I talk to God And never Satan! They be nice to me one day Until then, I’ll be patient Grinding, on the move No time wasted I’m Benjamin like Franklin! Ah, yes you do (Yes you do) Eh, you got a friend in me Yes, you do (Yes you do) We different – No we isn’t Come join the crew I ain’t necessarily have it easy In my high school But I forgive you Come join the crew (Come join the crew) You got a friend in me Yes, you do (Yes, you do) Oh, you got a friend in me Yes, you do (Yes, you do) I ain’t necessarily had it easy In my high school But, I forgive you Hey, join the crew Look, one thing I’ve learned There’s people just like you Who make the world go ‘round Had to get out of that ‘lost and found’ ‘Benji’ up in da’ house now Thank you for understanding Me–when I couldn’t stand it I got my bike, I’m comin’ I never go out stranded Seventy-six degrees, Mama I be on the hammock You gotta watch your words, really They can cause some damage So what the plan is? Lately I be thinkin’ That’s your right So what other planet? If it ain’t love Then what is? Represent For my nieces And my nephews Man, I love them It’s finally my turn Benjamin, I’m gonna go all in You can cut that back to Benny, tho I am the original You follow your dreams Then, if you stop I guess you’ll never know But, I won’t (I won’t) Ah, yes you do (yes you do) You got a friend in me Yes, you do We different– No, we ain’t– Come join the crew I ain’t necessarily had it easy In my high school But I forgive you Come join the crew (Come join the crew) You got a friend in me Yes, you do (Yes, you do) You got a friend in me Yes, you do (Yes, you do) I ain’t necessarily had it easy In my high school But I forgive you Hey, join the crew “Yeah! Hey man! Benjamin Layne Shill! Young Benny! Beninem, what’s good?! A friend for life! Yeah!”
-Golden Child Willz (J-Willz)
